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I Almost Quit My Race.
Over a decade ago, I stood at a soul-level crossroads. I was working my first job as a government employee in sunny Santa Barbara. Life was pretty easy: I worked less than eight hours a day, made decent money, and had great benefits.
But deep down, something in my soul was shouting at me:
LIFE IS MORE THAN THIS.
So I took a chance and quit.
I chose to finish writing and publishing my first novel.
Oh young Kyle.
Safe to say, my life instantly became a lot harder.
Sometimes, I go back to that moment—the moment I diverged from the tried and true path in exchange for the life of a creative. A path of most resistance. Guaranteed rejection, pain, and struggle.
Last weekend, my wife and I competed in a partner fitness race called HYROX. It consists of eight strength circuits mixed with five miles of running in between. Being my first race, I had no idea what to expect. Let me tell you — It was a vibe.
When you start the race, they put you in this giant black domed tent with all athletes in your heat. All these people from over the world with matching shirts and a look of fear and determination in their eye. Inside that tent, a HYROX coach gives everyone a Rocky-esque speech. Close your eyes and imagine the best version of yourself. Imagine yourself digging deep, finding strength you never thought possible.
3, 2, 1
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO.
Me and my wife burst out of the tent like we were running a 100 meter dash.
I got this.
I got this.
Wait a second…
After the second strength exercise (The dreaded SLED run), the cramps began.
And when I mean cramps, I mean my entire legs started to seize up.
I thought, “Oh sh**— I’m not going to make it. There’s literally SIX more stations and miles of running to go. I need to quit. This isn’t what I signed up for. Wait, did I pay to do this? WHAT WAS I THINKING??? “
I looked over to my wife and you could tell she was not in the mood to fetch me a banana and give me a pep talk. She was feeling the pain too. She needed me to be strong This was my cinematic moment — lying on the ground, defeated. Do I keep fighting?
I’m proud to say, I didn’t give up. I kept moving forward. One grueling step in front of the other. Eventually, the cramps dwindled and the journey continued.
This is us halfway through the race. I LOOK LIKE A GHOST.
And this us pulling into the finish line.
Newsflash - WE DIDN’T WIN. No trophy. No applause. Just the reward that we did something hard.
AND ISN’T THAT THE PATH OF THE ARTIST.
You start out writing a book, bringing an idea to life. It’s fun. it’s exciting. The possibilities are endless. Everyone’s encouraging. But then things get hard. You can’t finish the book. You can’t land an agent. Family and friends aren’t so encouraging anymore. Doubt starts to creep in.
Do you really have what it takes?
Are you good enough?
And even when you get to the finish line, when you publish that book, when you bring that creation to life, for many of us, there is no trophy. No big paycheck. No standing ovation. Very few people even acknowledge the feat. But deep down, you know you did something hard. All those 5:00 am sessions before the actual job. All those sacrifices. You committed to something and you saw it through to the end.
My wife (who’s an absolute beast) is already trying to sign us up for the next race. She’s caught the bug. And she knows that this time, we’re going to do better. Maybe not win, but we will be stronger and faster than last time.
We know the terrain.
We’re in the arena now.
As an author, I feel the same way.
I’m in the arena.
I’m pursuing the next book. And it’s going to be better than the one before. I’m going to work harder. Not because I assume there will be a trophy, but I want to get better. I want to see what else is left in the tank. I want more people to read my books.
And maybe one day I’ll stand at the podium — whatever that means. Or maybe I won’t. But if I don’t enjoy the process, the blood sweat and tears, then I shouldn’t be in the race.
And damn do I love the race.
The Creative Ritual of Even & Seth
Today's creative ritual story illustrates the theme of perseverance and the long race.
It’s the story of Superbad, a film that grossed over $170 million on a $20 million budget.
However, the script took 13 years to get off the ground.
It was written by Seth Rogen and his childhood friend Evan Goldberg when they were teenagers. Normally, people abandon their first projects, chalking them up to a learning curve. But not these guys. They knew they had something special, even if the script was raw and they were inexperienced. So they kept rewriting and rewriting.
Once Seth started getting Hollywood gigs and the attention of up-and-coming director Judd Apatow, he was in a position to pitch the film. But no matter how funny the script was, the timing was never right. R-rated comedies, especially those involving high school kids, weren’t a thing. Judd encouraged Seth and Evan to keep working on the script.
Thanks to the success of Judd and Seth with Knocked Up and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Seth and Evan finally had their window of opportunity. And for the 100th+ time they pitched the script….Greenlit!
“In the end, Superbad was a success, but make no mistake—for 10 years it was a failure.” - Evan Goldberg
“People told us over and over again, ‘I don’t think anyone’s going to make this movie,’ and it didn’t occur to us to listen to them. It wasn’t even a conversation of ‘Should we stop?’ We literally didn’t have that conversation. It was just like, ‘F*** those people. Let’s go to the next one.’” - Seth Rogin
“To picture Stephen King writing his first book and then being like: ‘Man, I’m stumped. I’m going to be something else.’ You just keep going.” - Evan Goldberg
“Blind belief in yourself.” - Seth Rogen
**Quotes from Tools of Titans by Tim Ferriss (pg 533)
Thanks for reading, The Creative Ritual!
Definitely curious about a creative ritual book. I always find your insights into other artist’s relationship to creativity so interesting, inspiring, and as a fellow artist, reassuring.
You're an inspiration Kyle!!!! Thank you for sharing your journey!